I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
