well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
