I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
