Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
