I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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