Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
