So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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