His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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