thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
