you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
