What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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