It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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