My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
