wrigley field is MILF paradise
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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