My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He felt like a one man threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
