i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You are a genius and a whore.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
