Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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