wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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