i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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