ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
