I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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