I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
