my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
