no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
