p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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