Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
