I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
