oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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