My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
