So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
