your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
