I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
