...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
