i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
