Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My dick has a subreddit
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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