went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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