He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
