just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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