I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
