I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
