did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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