I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
