Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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