I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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