Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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