you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
