Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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