Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
