come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
