It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
