If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
