Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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