i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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