Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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