She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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